We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
