I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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