omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
