He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
