hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
