Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
