This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
