he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
