im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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