omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
