you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
