I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Oh god it's open bar.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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