I wanna passion pit in your ass
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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