you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
