I love watching others lives come down to our level.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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