You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
