Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize