I can tuck mytits in my pants
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
did i walk over a car last night?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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