Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
