I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Help. Why am I so naked?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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