i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
