I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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