I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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