just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
