I wish i was in the wii world.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
