# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
