apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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