A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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