I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
