There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
