And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Girls should come with a carfax report
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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