I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
