Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
