You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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