just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
