I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
