People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
