Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
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