Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
