perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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