Her vagina should come with caution tape.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
New York to be Host to Americaâ€™s Biggest Singles Event
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Kylie Jenner Wasnâ€™t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom