I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Dicks are not precious.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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