garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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