**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
