You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
