Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
