He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
