You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
