Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
