dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
