Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize