i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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