A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
