HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
