Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
