well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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