from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
