i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
