Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
