that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
