my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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