I thought spray tan was a myth
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.