If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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