I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
