could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
