Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
