I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize