im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
