I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
