Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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